this is going to be a good entry. today was a good day. i made some progress with someone important in my life. i needed to hear and say what was conversed. desperately. on both of our parts.

princess day.

me

rachel

umm..melissa???

                                            -Wasteland

i have everything i want, right in front of me. ready to give itself to me. ready to show me that things are what they are. there are some things that are just meant to be, a series of events that happen just in this timing, just in this part of life. and i know that.

i've made decisions, were they really fatal? or were they just written in God's script as the tests that i would have to experience? do i know who i know because of God, or because of me? where is this life going for me...is every choice a fork in the road?
what if. whatifwhatifwhatifwhatifwhatif.
self-inflicted his perdition. hmm....

i still think this is a good entry, but i'm not done.

under construction.

so one of my teachers (no names because i could get in trouble) is a really intensely annoying. she makes me laugh out of frustration.

so once upon a time rachel asked me to do a favor and she ended it in "my love". all of the sudden the once idle teacher snapped her head up and said "RACHEL that's COMPLETELY INAPPROPRIATE." omg it was so hard not to just be like "yeah, didn't you know me and rachel are LESBO'S?!?!?!?!?" oh the pains it is to be in a private school.

everyone thinks youre a lesbian.

which i'm not. in case any of yall are out there who go to LCC and take everything everyone says seriously and then i get in trouble for sarcasm.

this teacher is going to ask us to come out of the closet pretty soon, i feel it coming on.

i'm in the BEST mood. they gave out free coffe, cake, and chai tea today in honor of finals.

edit

okay this little "characteristic" has stuck to me since forever..before and after LCC now that i think about it.

ugh i'm not off to a good start on how i'm trying to explain this. so i'll just say it.

a) stop cussing around me. it doesn't impress me. just because i'm from a public school and i used to cuss every other word, doesn't mean that seeing you do it makes me like you more. it makes you look like a stupid retard. i know what yall are really like, and some of yall can cuss around me and i know that it's just what you're like, but for the majority of you, it's not who you really are.

b) you are one person. make up your mind if you're gonna be a good kid or a bad kid. it's so annoying when you're trying to be both. i'm not two people and i don't play two parts. other people see that too. don't think you're fooling anyone. EVERYONE is never fooled by your feeble acts of trying to be on both sides of the river. to put it shortly, you look even more retarded than the people trying to cuss. which, once i think about it, these two have a lot to do with each other.

c) i know what you're really like inside. this is to one specific person. i don't hold grudges, but my cuts go deep. and the scars never, ever go away. i will no longer look to you to tell my troubles with. i have others for that, others who won't do what you did. excuses don't make anything better for me, if you cared to know.

d) if any of you ask me about this at school or on here, don't expect a justifying answer. you guys are smart, you know who all of this is to and why.

e) one last thing. everyone needs to know this, because out of all the things that i've said above, this is the most important one. this is the one that makes me who i am, in all of my happiness and heartbreak. i love my best friends more than they know. they mean the world to me. there's only three of them, but without them, i would not be where i am today. God has truly blessed me with Rachel Lamb, Melissa Coble, and my closest treasure, my sister, Bethanie Davidson. i will never stop loving any of you. never.

mood: sad. even  though this was a long post, i still have more to say. i'll put it shortly.

i miss everything i used to have...be...love...hate...

 my hero 

 <3 captain mushroom.

no i will NOT tell you what everything above is to. that's just me. you won't get it out of me. i promise.

so it's been a while since i've updated. or so it seems. i don't have much to write...but i really like these pictures.

they go hand in hand, don't they?

oh so my mom gave me a talk the other night. about my looks. i'll give her credit for being nice, but she said that i go for shock-value....you know, the public-gone-private schooler who wants to rebel against the system. hmm....

like i wear too much eyeliner, my hair is too "edgy", i like to draw on hands, my xanga isn't preppy (< i guess).

but it's not like i care, i just told her what she wanted to hear, and didn't wear anything other than mascara today.

www.picturetrail.com/mcr_ismylover

go there. cute pictures.

okay....i don't ask for much out of you guys, so i'd love you forever if you described me in one to three words. have fun. please.

edit...

cut off two inches of my hair. the lady put too much gunk in it. thought you'd like to know.

hello.

well thirty-one comments and a few days later got me here. working on our youth and gov. visual aid with wendy. ugh. oh so interesting. can't you tell by my enthusiasm?

it feels like a monday since i missed two (2) days of school this week for those lovely "snow" days. i love texas for our fear of ice.

quote of the day:  

"God knows where the floor has been..."

i'll do more later...i just don't find anything to interesting to write about in here.

the next person who comments me gets a surprise.

edit

you guys SUCK at commenting lately. i'll add picture(s) later..i'm working on them right now.

this ^^^ is one of my favorite pictures of me and rachel....it's better than the other one.

i think im getting tired of xanga. my parents don't mind if i have it so now it's like..ugh...no thrill.

Currently Listening Vheissu By Thrice see related

somethings been on my mind and it makes me so mad just to even think about how bad people need the comfort of what they want. oh and no, if you happen to drop by thinking that i'm talking about someone i know....then you can leave my site because this is about people in america.

the land of freedom. free choice of religion. for instance.

what the hell is up with the "happy holidays" replacement of "merry christmas"?

if you live in this country then that means that everyone gets the option of celebrating their own holidays. including CHRISTmas. if you don't celebrate Christmas for the meaning of a birth of a savior, but only to give and receive presents, then DON'T CELEBRATE IT.

IT'S NOT A HOLIDAY IF YOU DON'T CELEBRATE THE MEANING OF THE DAY.

why does no body get offended when some one says Happy Hannukah? but wait NOOOOOO!!!!! don't say merry christmas...

oh and then the whole Santa is witchcraft/magic? what has the world come to? is the easter bunny satanic? how about cupid? st. patrick? the toothfairy?

yes, i must say that Santa and cupid and the toothfairy have all really put an impression on me when i'm in my teenage years to go and worship other fiction kiddie stories with my druggie friends every weekend. WATCH OUT FOR ME. Santa has totally ruined my whole life because him and his flying reindeer when i was a little child and now i think that my dog can talk and that Sesame Street is going to take over the world.

is that what parents think what's going to happen to their kids when they see them watching Barney on TV or going to sit on Santa's lap? 

ugh.

on the bright side...

SNOW DAY TODAY!!!!!....maybe it's ice...